In Private | How To Put On An Incredible Show

 Photo by  Dayne Topkin  on  Unsplash

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

People will pay whatever price you ask if you give them the feelings they want. I know that's a quote from something, but I can't track down the source. I may have modified it slightly, or maybe it's a Jordan original. Either way, it sums up our entire business perfectly. Feelings are that hidden, secret thing that drives the entire industry. 

Why would someone pay $10/minute to talk to someone? Because it makes them feel a little bit more alive. We're in the feelings business. 

This article is not a list of clever tactics to get customers to stay in show for longer. I'm not going to tell you how to stretch out a 6 minute show into a 9 minute show. You don't need to know how to do that. 

This article is about winning the hearts and minds of customers. Obviously this is going to contain a lot of sensitive information, so let's just keep it between you and me, OK? 

While any attempt to even start to categorize customer motivations for private shows is sure to leave off far more than it includes, I'm going to attempt to make such a list anyways. Because for you, a soon-to-be superstar cam model, being able to picture some of the archetypes, and imagine the people behind them, will help you to navigate through all of them. 

And by the way, if you've ever been triggered by anything, you're certainly going to be triggered by something to follow in this article. So, proceed accordingly. 

Why do customers spend money?

One reason that a customer would spend money on a model is control. Control feels good. We all lead lives where we interact with plenty of people who don't behave how we'd like them to. The more important someone is to us and the less they behave how we hope, the more pain we feel. Everyone goes through some version of this, c'est la vie. 

By starting a private show with a model the customer gets, for a few brief moments, the feeling of control. A sense of confidence that you will behave how they need you to behave. Even if it's not enunciated, the vibe they got from you said it all. They know you'll be right for them and that's all that matters. 

The control thing is a well lubricated slope, I could easily ramble my way all the down into power exchange and the darker impulses that drive "financially coercing someone into doing what I want them to do even if they don't like it, or especially if they don't like it." Yeah, there's all that. But it's not that simple. The light, surface-level control of "knowing what to expect in a private show" in reality isn't a slippery slope to BDSM power exchange and chauvinist domination. They're different. 

Feeling a brief sense of control and certainty about any situation is reassuring and comforting. Stripping away all of the auspices of many private shows leads back to a basic control narrative. Someone who wants to talk about their day does a private show because they know you'll listen to them for as long as they need you to and you won't interrupt, cut them off, or judge them. That's control. 

Someone that has an uber specific fetish they want to act out with you does a private show because with you it's OK to be very specific and up front about that uber specific fetish and tell you exactly how they want it. They're in control of their own expression and if you're on board, they get to control their fantasy experience somewhat selfishly. 

Most shows are control. 

Another reason that a customer might spend money: loss of control. 

“Today I am a woman torn between the terror that everything might change and the equal terror that everything might carry on exactly the same for the rest of my days.”  ― Paulo Coelho, Adultery

There's a certain amount of pleasure to be had from spending money recklessly. People can do this on the site. It's a loss of control. Note, any orgasm represents some amount of a loss of control. For a few seconds at least, you're totally out of control. A loss of control can be restorative. 

Loss-of-control shows tend to be driven more by the model. You sense the customer is happy just having you do whatever you want and leading the show and you take them up on their offer. Watch Chuck in Billions (low voice, late night Chuck) for a view into the loss-of-control customers. 

Another reason a customer might spend money: pure arousal. Sometimes, they just see you, get that feeling in the pit of their stomach, and press private. Maybe you look like someone they used to know, or someone they couldn't get, or someone they'd like to know? There's no logic, it just happens, it has to just happen. It's only going to head one place, but that's OK. 

Yet another reason a customer might spend money: pure boredom. The emotional rush one gets from doing a private show or tipping is higher than a lot of other internet activities. It's certainly higher than just watching porn. And it's higher than most Netflix/YouTube binge stuff. Way higher than checking social media. So for a lot of people it's a good quick fix to kill time. We're OK with that. 

The last reason I'll say, and really keep this between us, is simply: attention. 

It's nice to have someone pay attention to you. When they start a private show with you, they're not always making you the star of the show; quite often they want to be the star of the show. To have a bit of time where their needs are the only needs that matter; where they have all of your attention. A lot of people feel ignored and are lonely because of it. That experience in a private show of being heard, being cared about, being listened to, is nearly priceless (although, we've managed to establish some basic price points). 

A lot of the guys on the site aren't leading interesting sex lives. They don't feel wanted/desired by the people they want to feel wanted/desired by. No, you're not the cute girl at the coffee shop; or the ripped guy at their gym. But you'll do.

Make customers feel wanted and desired in a show with you. Whatever that means to them. 

This is the nature of putting on an incredible show. You make them feel wanted, needed, appreciated, loved, admired, used, hurt, whatever. Everyone has a feeling they're trying to get to; your task in private is to unlock it and draw it out of them. 

Anytime you do that, 5 stars, loyal customer forever.

This emotional experience is always underpinning everything that we do. Keep it in your awareness. 

POV

One of the thrilling aspects of live cams is the infinite options a customer is afforded for their viewpoint. By asking for changes they get to be the director and see not just exactly what they want to see but exactly how they want to see it. This is one the features most taken for granted by models, but it matters a lot to customers. 

Not all customers would think to micromanage the shot of course. It's very much correlated to how much control they want in a show. But someone should be thinking about what the optimum view is for every aspect of the show. 

We talk about this a lot with open chat (where the optimum view is generally of your face and upper body 2-4 feet away from the cam, which is at about eye level) but it's worth considering a lot in private chat where there are an infinite number of right and wrong answers. 

Private show point of view is an extremely subtle game. Consider, for example, your face. A camera view of you masturbating that doesn't have your face in it is far less personal than one that does; and some people prefer that. A view with your face in it goes the other direction, more personal/intimate; many people prefer this. 

A view where you completely fill the frame, or if you're sitting with a wall immediately behind you can feel "full" or "crowded. Plenty of petite models make themselves look like giant by simply sitting too close to the camera. If you have to ruin the shot every time you move at all, you probably aren't giving a great point of view. 

There is too close, there is too far away. There is too impersonal, there is too intimate. The way to get it right is to understand the client. Someone who is talking a lot and having a personal conversation is likely to be interested in seeing your face more. Someone that is just asking to see a particular part of your body or a particular act might not care as much. 

The trick is to ask. Encourage your customers in show to ask you for exactly what they want. This simple move is extremely engaging to customers. Many people have never had the experience of being invited to give an unrestrained expression of their erotic desires to a willing partner. 

Just don't smash the microphone with your thumb when moving the camera, it sounds bad on the other end. 

Indulgence

We indulge fantasies. That's the simplest way to think about a private show. Sometimes we first have to discover and stimulate a fantasy, but then we indulge it. Your first task is to not break the fantasy. Stay in character, role play, get into it. As soon as you break the fantasy, you lose the customer. 

A great example of this playing out is a customer asking to meet in person; somewhat common. Many models respond quickly with a, "No. I would never meet in person." This is of course compliant with the site rules and the law and all of that. But it's also just... the wrong way to respond. 

Unless you're engaged in a very specific denial role play, no is usually not a good word to use. You need to learn how to redirect fantasies positively when they go into uncomfortable territory, not shut them down. 

Meeting in person doesn't always mean meeting in person when the customer asks for it. It can mean, "I feel feelings for you and I think you do for me too. Am I crazy?" If you say no to meeting in person, they say yes to being crazy, and feel jaded. If you seem open to it, they feel that they're not crazy.

But even if it means exactly what they say and they're trying to arrange meeting you in person. You can make it a goal to see how long you can indulge their fantasy in a private show before the fantasy breaks. 

We're attempting to make a moral point here, so we'll just say it very clearly: You should lie to customers. 

This is entertainment. That's not your real name. You don't actually wake up every morning eagerly waiting for them to come stroke their cocks with you. We're making shit up, guys. So, continue to make shit up for as long as artistically possible. If what we're making up makes people feel nice, we win. If it doesn't, we're finished. We're engaging in transactional relationships for the purposes of providing entertainment to people. None of this is under oath.

In addition to lying to customers, you should never admit to lying to customers if they try to call you you out on it. Just cover up your initial lies with more lies.

You can also tell the truth. That's not against the rules or anything. But a lot of people miss the point of playing a character online. The anonymity of the pseudonyms that both we and the customers use serves a valuable purpose. Don't be the one to ruin the fantasy. 

A lot of the sexual fantasies a customer is going to have with you are going to have a fantasy setting of "the two of you together." Many times that will be in places familiar to them; their home/office/car/dungeon/hotel/etc. So them saying you come to my house while I'm sleeping and wake me up with a blowjob... might be more about helping them get to sleep than a proposed travel itinerary, that's all we're saying.

Focal Points (I vs me)

Are we focusing on you or the customer or a mix? That's the question. You need to know the answer to this. Some customers want to go through the fantasy focused entirely on themselves. All of the language is in terms of them, spoken from their character's point of view. Other customers want to go through the entire fantasy with the focal point entirely on you, spoken from your point of view. Some fantasies go back and forth. 

We all have a natural comfort level towards one side or the other of this spectrum, where we feel more intimate/erotic either when our partner is focusing all of their energy on our needs, or when we have a partner that is comfortable having all of our focus on their needs. 

The difference in language is revealing: "I want to fuck you." vs "Fuck me."

A customer that wants the focal point on you is going to talk about you a lot. They'll often speak admiringly about you and your body. They'll give attention to your feelings; insist you have a good time, and so on. Very often they're more control-oriented and want to feel like they are giving you an experience -so make sure they leave feeling that they gave you an amazing experience. 

A customer that wants the focal point on them is going to talk about themselves more. They'll use the word "me" a lot. They'll ask for things rather than about things. 

If you try to put the attention on a customer that wants the attention on you, it will make them uncomfortable. If you try to make the show all about you, when the customer wants it all about them, it will irritate them. Match your language and focus to what the customer is demonstrating moment to moment. 

Speed

The best models move quickly in show. 

I've never been really sure how to explain this point, or why it's even the case, or whether it's even the right strategy. But it's true. 

Maybe moving quickly conveys to the customer that you respect their time and attention and want to make the most of the experience. Maybe customers are impatient jerks who will leave if you aren't fast and thus there's a survivor bias going on (because slow moving models fail on cam). Maybe moving with a sense of urgency heightens the emotional intensity of the show and that makes customers enjoy it more. Maybe speed convinces the customer that you're enjoying it and they feel comfortable staying longer. 

Maybe all of those things, maybe a bit of each, maybe a million more. If you reply to the ding noise that happens when a private show starts the same way an individual involved in a race responds to the opening gun shot, you'll be in good shape. 

Urgency is the word, not haste. You don't have to rush. You have to move quickly.

Treat the private show and the customer like they are important and the chances improve drastically that they will be. 

Thanks.