Sex does not sell

The convention is ubiquitous. You hear it all the time. Sex sells. Everyone knows this. But these words... They do not mean what people think they mean. And words are important. So let me propose a different paradigm. The Clothing Optional Paradigm.

The desire for sex causes people to buy things. It influences all of the decisions we make. In our line of work, we tap into desire. We sell fantasy. We sell emotional experience. We sell attention. We sell intimacy. And sometimes those products involve sexual performances. 

Some people sell sex. And we have a lot of love and respect for those people. But the people who sell sex make less money than we do. Sex is an incredibly price controlled market. Supply and demand. The supply is effectively infinite for any individual consumer. Whatever they are into, there are multiple people willing to provide it, at a price they'll find reasonable. Both online and offline. There are a lot more suppliers than they have the means (in both time and money) to engage with. This surplus of supply erodes the value of any individual generic sex transaction. Selling sex is more like being a cab driver, people will choose what's most convenient, all other things being equal. 

Sex is always an essential part of webcam modeling, but it is one component in a larger machine. The larger machine is emotion. 

People pay us to make them feel something. What do they feel? What do they want to feel? What do they need to feel? The only answer is that it depends. It depends on who they are. It depends on who you are. It is a matter of a taste.

The Client Hierarchy

To help make sense of things I will break down clients into five different classes:

  1. No Class: The Unwashed Masses.
  2. Lower Class: Barbarians and Bores.
  3. Middle Class: Civilized Citizens.
  4. Upper Class: The Wealthy Civilized Citizens.
  5. The .001%: People That Actually Exist.

Please note, I am denoting these classes only as a thought experiment related to how performers experience their time on cam. This is simply to help paint a picture and create proper expectations. I am in no way stating anything about the real world or "classes" as mainstream society views it. I am just using that framework for ease of understanding. 

This is a meritocracy, for performers and for clients. So I am labeling clients entirely by their merits without prejudice.

No Class: The Unwashed Masses.

A very tiny number of the people that ever visit our site end up creating an account and spending money. It is maybe 1 in 1,000 that do. As such, a performer shouldn't trouble themselves with anyone that hasn't spent money yet on the site. In your chatroom, you can see which users are registered accounts (and thus have spent money) and which are not. They can become washed by creating an account and adding their credit card. Spend your time with people that are washed.

Lower Class: Barbarians, Bores, and More.

This type of user will account for perhaps 70-80% of the registered traffic to your open chatroom. Unwashed Masses will account for 80-90% of total traffic, but they don't count. So from now on we're just referring to the registered users in our traffic estimations. 

This class is the mainstream. But they are the mainstream that is currently surfing the web for porn. Keep that in mind. They don't spend a lot of money individually and aim to maximize their enjoyment for each dollar they spend. Money from them is hard fought. 

But, this group shouldn't be discounted. There is strength in numbers. You could make a living off of them, you'd just have to work very hard, which is fine. They just have to be managed with a firm hand. 

Truth is, you have to interact with them or else you'll never discover the higher classes. The only information you have to go off of with a new client are their username and what they type to you. Thus it is the case that every model has to fight through the barbarians to climb their way to the top. Take comfort in knowing that there is a top, there is a place to climb to, and you won't be stuck in the trenches forever (although no one escapes them entirely). 

The Middle Class: Civilized Citizens

This type of user will account for perhaps 15-18% of the registered traffic to your open chatroom. And until they've identified themselves (by spending) they will look identical to the lower class. 

What differentiates them is both manners and spending. By manners we simply mean that they B.S less than Barbarians. If they want to do a show, they will. If they don't, they'll leave. When they talk to you, they'll generally be polite. And they spend more individually. 

If a private show lasts 20 minutes or more, you're likely dealing with this user (or higher). If they talk to you in private (instead of just demanding sex acts), you're likely dealing with this user. If they tip you, you're likely dealing with this type of user. 

They're not softer necessarily than Barbarians. They still want whatever it is they want and expect to get it from you if they're spending money. But the arrangement is a bit easier with them, since they are prepared to spend money and require less effort up front (in open chat). 

The Upper Class: Wealthy Civilized Citizens

This type of user will account for 1% or less of the registered traffic to your room. Behaviorally they are essentially the same as the middle class, except they are price insensitive with drastically higher spending power AND desire. 

Desire is the key component at this level. There are probably millionaire barbarians and fixed social security income upper class users on the site. It doesn't matter what their tax bracket is, their spending on the site is all that matters for the purpose of this discussion. 

Those that want to spend, spend; those that don't, don't. Those that want to spend a lot, spend a lot. And that is the user type we're discussing here. 

It takes some version of an Upper Class client for a real, ongoing relationship to develop. Your per minute rate is going to be high. So high as to not be sustainable for someone without the necessary disposable income to spend time in private with you regularly. That's the where price insensitivity becomes a factor. 

A price sensitive user will be regularly concerned about the money they spend with you. Budgetary concerns are the least erotic thing ever, and so it would kill things. Whereas a person that is price insensitive has the ability to carry on. 

Almost no one is completely price insensitive. It is a spectrum on which every customer falls. Generally speaking, the higher up the class list they are, the lower their price sensitivity. 

The .001%: People That Actually Exist

Here lies the mythical but real, truly price insensitive user. They are the .001% of real society and will make up about .001% of the traffic to your room. But they do exist, they're real people, and sometimes they're really cool. 

I don't need to explain what they're like really. When one finds you (because it always is THEM finding YOU), you will know. Everyone will know. 

The Clothing Optional Paradigm

The money you earn on cam has a 1:1 correlation to the emotional value you provide to a client. 

That is it. That's the secret. That's what makes the whole thing work. Emotional value. 

A few shorthand terms will speed us along while I prove this out:

+EV: An action that has positive emotional value to the client.
-EV: An action that has negative emotional value to the client. 
X: Something you do that causes +EV.
Y: The specific emotional experience that the client desires.

One other pillar to this paradigm. The judgment of positive or negative emotional value relates completely to the client, it's not up to you. It's not consciously up to them either, we just feel things. Why X makes us feel Y doesn't need to be known, in fact it's usually best if it isn't. But if the client wants to feel Y and what causes that feeling is you doing X, then you doing X is a +EV action. 

Whether they know that's what they want, or ask for it isn't important. Whether you do it on purpose or on accident isn't important. Whether either of you understands what is happening in the moment of X causing Y does not matter. Only that X occurred and Y was felt. 

So what are some potential Xs and Ys? The answer that tells everything and nothing is that they could be anything, remember, it depends. A list in no particular order that covers 80% of what you may experience on cam however, would look like this:

The Y's & X's.

  • Y: The client wants to feel erotic trepidation that leads to a satisfying climax. X: You eagerly and enthusiastically performing a graphic, fully nude sex act according to their requests.
  • Y: The client wants to feel understood. X: You listen to them. Really listen. And read between the lines of what they write to get to the real person, and you make a connection with that person by acknowledging what they are saying and continuing to listen.
  • Y: The client wants to feel significance and a sense of meaning and purpose. X: You share your story with them, your own inner motivations and desires, and their participation in your cam career takes on real meaning as they contribute to your edification. 
  • Y: The client wants to feel used, mistreated, and ashamed. X: You don't judge. You hear them. Then you blow their mind with a surprisingly capable performance that indulges their fantasy. 

It isn't that the specifics are important. They are. But they are only important in the context of the individual client. There cannot be a rulebook of if Y, then X that tells you how to do everything. That would take all the fun out of it for you and for them. 

This is a lot like poker. You'll see hundreds of hands, some will be good, some will be bad. You choose which ones you play and there will always be dozens of options of what to do with any given hand. Make the best decisions you can in the moment, and review the hands after you're done playing. After 1,000,000 hands, you'll be able to play really well. 

Except with webcam modeling, the hands are human beings, with their own feelings, beliefs, needs, wants, preconceptions, expectations, judgments, flaws, etc. Anyone that would be worth your time will be immune to "being played", so you'll have to actually make genuine connections with real people. 

Let me stress the human side of this a bit more. Every person that comes through your chat room is a human being. Since all you will be seeing of them in most cases is text on a computer screen, it might be easy to forget. Don't. Dehumanizing the client will make you jaded, frustrated, and overall less appealing on cam. It might be easier in the moment, when things aren't going well, but it will hurt you in the long run. Allow them basic human dignity in your mind, no matter how hard it is. 

Does this make you more money? Totally. Will it make camming more fun and interesting? For sure. Could you get by without doing it? Maybe for a minute. 

The real reason that it's so essential is because it reminds you and everyone else that you're a human being too. People that treat themselves well, treat others well, and vice versa. 

People that don't treat themselves well, will come into your chatroom and try not to treat you well. They will say something that genuinely hurts your feelings. Instead of reacting angrily, pause, remember that they're a human being, and that they are suffering. Have a little compassion. Don't take their pain and make it yours. 

Attention = Currency

The first challenge in putting this all together is to get people to pay attention to you. As soon as you do, you're winning. 

We live in a noisy world, but nowhere is noisier than your computer. Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Imgur, NYT, Reddit, Instagram (I know it's mobile), texts, emails, AHHHHH! There are dozens of distractions, all demanding our attention all the time. As a result, we have less and less of it, and we're numb to a lot. Humans have gotten better at ignoring shit online, it's the only way to survive. 

On the site, people will volunteer their attention to you, for free, in hopes that they can have some of yours (because nobody else is paying attention to them). They will even pay you, to give you their attention, if you'll reciprocate. It's an amazing, counter intuitive, but also self evident things. 

In an increasingly social world, we've all become anti social. Real, human interaction, and emotional connection, which used to be a constant part of existence, is in shorter and shorter supply, being supplanted by an artificial, digital version that just isn't as good. 

We help people combat that. We provide a real human interaction albeit through a digital platform. But the 1 on 1 focused communication, the 1 on 1 experience, the intimate feelings, the being paid attention to, that's all 100% genuine. 

So first, you must get attention. You track this by having the customer in your room, typing to you. You want them to be engaged, you want to block out all of the other noise, and get them to pay attention exclusively to you. You want to make as many customers do this to get them to spend however much money you need. 

Being beautiful helps, being cool helps, nice outfits help, a good cam helps. But those are variables that every good cam model has done perfectly already. You'll learn how to tweak them to your advantage, and you'll do it correctly when you remember that the goal is to get attention. 

Once you get it, keep it. Be anything but boring. Lead people deeper down an experience with you. Learn who they are and excite them. Sales then occur. It's simple, be arousing. Be arousing and let the skies falls. When you're arousing, you'll have a wealth of attention.